Reasons Kristen is Awesome

Guest post time! I think it’s time to reflect on why we read this blag and why we even bother to talk to Kristen. Don’t worry, I did the reflecting for you.

1.  She’s entertaining. I don’t know if anybody has noticed, but Kristen is clumsy. One time she tripped over an imaginary hole. One time she fell down rollerblading and she got a huge bruise on her hip. It was awesome.

2. “Where is it at?” makes her cringe. Don’t hold back Kristen, let people know they have horrible grammar.

3. Blond moments. Pick your favorite.

4. As Brooke put it, Kristen has a “random sentence generator.” The things she says…

5. She wasn’t just valedictorian, she was one of three. In my opinion, Kristen is the smartest of the 3 valedictorians of South Central’s class of 2008.

6. Leadership skills. She likes to tell people what to do and she does a good job.

7. Her ability to make friends with anybody. Just by looking at the people who show up to her bonfires, it is easy to tell she is very likable. I mean, if she can get along with city and country folk…I bet she could bring world peace.

8. She can drive a tractor. Enough said.

9. Dork/nerd. From her obsession with the Lord of the Rings to her new found love of Star Trek, Kristen is a dork. And that is awesome.

10. She goes to OSU. Just because someone is an OSU student doesn’t mean they are awesome. This just adds to Kristen’s huge list of awesomeness.

This list proves that Kristen is made of awesome.

For your viewing pleasure…

Hello again from Brandon Rockwell!  This will be my final post as a guest here on Fakepalindrome, but don’t worry, you can still hear from me daily at brandonrockwell.tumblr.com!  Since my time for blogging today is short, I will just share with you some information that I found recently about one of my favorite things to study: Dragons.

Now, I’m sure most of you already know at least a little something about dragons.  Therefore, I’ll share with you some of the different theories and legends of dragon lore.

There are hundreds upon hundreds of stories and legends revolving around the existence of dragons.  I won’t share all of them with you, obviously, but I certainly can share my personal favorite legend about the origins of dragons.  The legend tells of a race of evil beings that ruled over Hell long before God banished Lucifer from Heaven.  The angels called these beings “Dragons” (naturally).  These dragons were much more fierce and evil than even the worst portrayals of the Devil himself.  Lucifer, desiring power, staged a rebellion against the dragons, and eventually banished them from Hell.  Once on Earth, the dragons began to tear themselves apart, leading to a very small and diluted population of dragons spread throughout the world.  This is the population of dragons that is described in the tales of ancient and medieval times.  After many years of fighting, the dragons were almost all but eliminated.  The few remaining dragons are now said to be in hiding, awaiting their time to regain control of our Earthly realm, and their ultimate goal: their return to their original domain, Hell.

There are many different types of dragons.  While web surfing, I found this website (actually VERY interesting if you want to look further into dragons.  Also check out the image gallery), which describes the basic types of “colored” dragons:

Black Dragons

Black dragons are vile, evil tempered, and obsessed with death. They live in fetid, swampy habitats. They find comfort in the sickening-sweet aroma of drowned, rotting carcasses. The black dragon’s domain is the swamp and the jungle. They are abusive, quick to anger, and malevolent. Their hearts are as black as their slimy scales.

A black dragon can be identified by his grim, skeletal appearance. His eyes lie in deep sockets. His two great horns curve forward and down. The flesh of his face appears to have partially deteriorated, as if burnt by acid. Acidic slime drools from his menacing grin. He smells of rotting vegetation, foul water, and poisonous acid.

Living in sticky, wet habitats, black dragons dine mostly on fish, eels, and other water creatures. They will eat meat, but prefer to allow their victims float in ponds for days, or even weeks, before being eaten.

If you ever encounter a black dragon, be careful—he prefers surprise attacks instead of fair fighting. He is most active in the darkest hour of night, wherein the darkness he feels confident and powerful. He breathes a poisonous, sizzling acid.

Red Dragons

Red dragons are greedy and covetous, and obsessed with increasing their treasure hoards. They live in warm habitats, such as volcanoes or tropical islands. The red dragon’s domain is is the mountain and the island. They are vain, cunning, and terrible.

A red dragon can be identified by is long wings and two long horns. He has a long, red, forked tongue. Tiny flames often dance in his nostrils when he is angry. His eyes gleam with unrestrained greed when he has seen treasure. He smells of smoke and sulfur.

Red dragons are fiercely territorial. They prefer to eat meat, especially people. Red dragons have been known to force villages to sacrifice maidens to them. (This is a matter of taste. As you would have it, apparently maidens “just taste better.”) The best part of a meal for a red dragon is drinking the blood.

Red dragons breathe a deadly fire.

Blue Dragons

Blue dragons are pensive, lawful, and vain. They live in hot, dry areas, such as sandy deserts or arid steppes.

A blue dragon can be identified by his frilled ears and a single horn upon his head. His eyes are smooth, glossy, and without pupils-when looking at them, you may feel as though you are looking into eternity. The dry scent of ozone and sand follows a blue dragon wherever he goes.

He loves to soar in the hot desert air. He is a dedicated carnivour who will eat snakes, lizards, and occasionally even desert plants, but truly prefers herd animals such as camels. Blue dragons are a real threat to caravans crossing the desert. He prefers to attack people in ambush. Surprise and distance is his greatest ally. They enjoy sitting and reflecting. He is blue-blooded (that is to say, cold, effete, or noble.) He is lawful and has some sense of morals.

He is good at tracking.

The blue dragon is large and vibrant.

Blue dragons breathe lightning, that is, a lightning bolt.

Green Dragons

The green dragon is a belligerent creature and master of intrigue, politics, and backbiting. He is cruel. He prefers forests—the older and bigger the trees, the better. Instead of being overtly aggressive, he prefers to concoct elaborat schemes to gain power or wealth with as little effort as possible. He may make his lair behind a waterfall or near a lake, pond, or stream that provides a submerged entrance. The closer one gets to his lair, the darker the woods become. Evil hangs in the air, mingling with the forest scents to produce foul odors.

The green dragon’s head is covered in hornlets. He has a long neck and legs, and resembles a brontosaurus.

The green dragon reaks of chlorine.

The green dragon is a liar and master of verbal evasion. Just talking to a green dragon can lead to ruin. When attacking, he will usually stalk his prey first, sometimes for days. The green dragon has a palette for elf flesh. He loves to play with his prey. He will subside on practically anything, including shrubs and small trees. He uses camoflauge to his advantage. He is obsessed with life and growth, and wants to live eternally. He is envious.

He is good at tracking.

The green dragon likes to instill terror in lesser opponents before torturing them to death.

Green dragons breathe poisonous gas, that is, a toxic chlorine gas.

//

White Dragons

White dragons are small and intelligent. They live in frigid, icy climates — usually arctic areas, but sometimes very high mountains. They travel alone, and have very good memories. They prefer the solitude of snowy plains and caves, far away from the warming rays of the sun.

A white dragon can be identified by his sharp, intelligent-looking eyes and intense expression. His scales resemble fur, or even feathers, in places. His wide feet and sharp claws help him to walk atop snowbanks. An aura of coldness seems to eminate from the white dragon.

Living in frosty climes, white dragons prefer their food to be suitably chilled. If their victims have not frozen to death already, white dragons will often pack them away in the snow until they are properly frozen.

If you ever encounter a white dragon, be on your guard— he is swift and alert. Your best bet is to scare or intimidate him, as white dragons are sometimes known to be cowardly. He breathes a chilling frost.

Dragons are by far the most beautiful, fierce, and mesmerizing creatures ever created by man’s imagination.  I encourage you to read into these monstrous beasts further, as it is all very intriguing!

By the way…

Here's the most recent photo of Kristen in her true form

Beauty and The Beast

So, I’m writing this blog thingy for Kristen cause she’s cool, and I decided to tell you all why Beauty and the Beast is the best Disney film (excluding Pixar).  Here’s the top 10 reasons why Beauty and The Beast Rocks!!

1) Belle is the only brunette princess (the chick from Aladdin has black hair)

2) Belle loves reading

3) Belle sings amazing songs about discovering the world and being independent

4) The castle has people who were turned into furniture

5) There’s a footrest that barks like a dog

6) The beast has brown hair when he’s a beast, but is blond when he transforms back into a person

7) Lumiere has a romance with a feather duster and she doesn’t catch on fire

8) No one actually kills Gaston, he falls from the roof cause he’s stupid

9) The song about Gaston at the bar has some pretty fun lyrics and insults about Gaston but he doesn’t notice

10) Who wouldn’t love a movie where talking furniture fight against people and actually win!

District 9

Hello Fakepalindrome, my name is Brandon Rockwell.  I’m Kristen’s best friend (she knows it’s true), and am currently a second year at The Ohio State University.  Kristen recently asked me to be a guest writer while she was at the fair this week (be sure to congratulate her on winning fair queen!!!), since she knows I am a very experienced blogger.  Check out my blog here!

Anyways, when trying to come up with a topic to write about on here today, I could only think of one thing: the recent film District 9.  Let me start by sharing with you the film’s trailer:

Excited yet?  If not, you probably don’t have a pulse, but I won’t hold that against you.  Here is the plot synopsis courtesy of ComingSoon.net: 28 years ago, aliens made first contact with Earth. Humans waited for the hostile attack, or the giant advances in technology. Neither came. Instead, the aliens were refugees, the last survivors of their home world. The creatures were set up in a makeshift home in South Africa’s “District 9″ as the world’s nations argued over what to do with them.  Now, patience over the alien situation has run out. Control over the aliens has been contracted out to Multi-National United (MNU), a private company uninterested in the aliens’ welfare – they will receive tremendous profits if they can make the aliens’ awesome weaponry work. So far, they have failed; activation of the weaponry requires alien DNA.  The tension between the aliens and the humans comes to a head when an MNU field operative, Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley), contracts a mysterious virus that begins changing his DNA. Wikus quickly becomes the most hunted man in the world, as well as the most valuable – he is the key to unlocking the secrets of alien technology. Ostracized and friendless, there is only one place left for him to hide: District 9.

Sounds pretty enticing, right?  Now let’s throw in the team behind the movie: Neill Blomkamp and Peter Jackson.  Everybody knows about Peter Jackson and his accomplishments as a producer, but the true magic comes from newbie director Neill Blomkamp.  Blomkamp is widely known for one thing, his live-action Halo shorts, which you can see here.  Even if you’ve never seen or played the video game, the fact remains that this guy is one hell of a director.  When these were first released a few years back, it was only fitting that I look more into this guy.  Unfortunately, I could not find much else on him outside of a few very cool commercials and two short films (via his page at SpyFilms.com).  One of these, “Tempbot”, was a very interesting and unique film involving a robot simulating a human’s life in the workplace.  Then comes the second short film, Alive in Joburg.  I can’t really describe it, you must just experience it for yourself:

For those of you too impatient or lame to watch, Alive in Joburg is a fictional documentary that looks into a world where aliens have landed in South Africa.  The aliens, who are seemingly peaceful, bring about fears in humans due to the uncertainty of their intentions.  This fear leads to a scarily truthful human reaction: negative feelings and oppression aimed at the aliens.  Alive in Joburg, although a mere seven minutes long, portrays a hauntingly familiar portrait of the oppressive tendencies of humankind.

What does this have to do with District 9, you ask?  Well, District 9 is directly based on Alive in Joburg.  The way Neill Blomkamp directed his beautiful short film left absolutely no doubts about the high quality of his movie-making skills.  Upon hearing that a full-length feature film was being created based on Alive in Joburg, I about soiled myself out of joy!  Now that you are fully aware of the background and the hype surrounding District 9, I present to you my rave about this stunning film:

Being the avid movie freak that I am (I have nearly 150 movies on my computer, and have currently 215+ DVDs in my collection, which you can peep here), I try and not let myself get my hopes too high for any movie.  Sometimes I just can’t help myself, and that normally leads to disappointment.  The average moviegoer may have looked at previews for District 9 and seen nothing more than another mindless science fiction thriller containing lots of blood and explosions.  I knew better,  so I put my faith in Neill Blomkamp and went along for the ride.  Upon seeing this film, I can assure you that it is indeed a very intense and graphic action flick.  The greatness of this film, however, goes way beyond that.  Wrapped up in the breathtaking special effects and heart-pounding thrills lies something much larger, a message that very few films have ever been able to pull off properly: a look into the darkest parts of human nature.

Sign used to keep non-humans out of areas surrounding District 9

When the aliens landed in Johannesburg, South Africa, they were found trapped in their spaceship, dieing from malnourishment.  As decent people, the world couldn’t just let them die like that, and so a massive effort was launched to save these aliens.  1.8 million were rescued, and given shelter the best way we knew how, a very crowded and unsafe refugee camp.  As the aliens were found to have weapons, they were kept locked up within the walls of “District 9″, in order to “protect” the citizens of Johannesburg.  Here is where the film begins to look into the human soul.  Most of the citizens in Johannesburg began to revolt against the aliens living in their city.  They were afraid, as we all would be.  This fear did not come from direct knowledge, however.  It stemmed from uncertainty, the general idea of what aliens were portrayed as in movies and books, and allegedly true news reports about the atrocities that the aliens were committing.  People began to blame everything on the aliens.  Crime, poverty, and disease all continued to be growing issues in South Africa, but they now had a foreign source for the blame: the defenseless aliens.  In the film itself, the aliens are shown as animal-like creatures, but never as directly threatening.  This initially allows for the audience member to make up his or her own mind as to how the aliens should be treated.  I won’t give away any of the plot, but I will tell you that things are revealed which are capable of moving even the most stubborn of viewers.

Alien being evicted by MNU agents

By the end, not a single person in the theater was anything less than blown away by what they had just witnessed.  Enough action and special effects were there to make a mindless-but-still-successful action flick (and with a mere budget of $30 million, it managed to stand up to the likes of this year’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Terminator: Salvation, and yes Kristen, even Star Trek), and yet it somehow managed to do what no other science fiction thriller has done before – portray a disturbing and at times beautiful theme that really hits close to home for we as a species.  I’ve never seen anything like this before, and I hope that you as well go out and experience this true piece of art!

Entrance statue located at the entrance to District 9

Aliens

Hello, this is Kristen’s friend Alyssa aka ALYSSA ROOOOOWE,

I was watching the History Channel the other day. It was about “ancient astronauts” otherwise known as aliens. Some “scientists” believe there is evidence for ancient civilizations being visited by extraterrestrials. How else would these primitive people have such incredible inventions?

There is artwork across the globe that depict, what some believe, are visitors to Earth. Ancient civilizations were given the knowledge to build massive structures such as pyramids and monumental artwork that can only be observed from the sky. The Mayans had very accurate calendars and were very good at math, perhaps it was the aliens who were intelligent.

Look, they have helmets!

Most of the “evidence” is drawn from interpretations of artwork and religious documents. It is said that the gods are really the ancient astronauts. Many unexplained structures are credited to ancient astronauts. It was the aliens that built Stonehenge. They made the Nazca Lines so they could land their spaceships. The aliens are responsible for out-of-place artifacts. Anything found that seems too advanced or does not fit with the culture? Aliens.

It was a very interesting program but most of the theories are based on speculation. I believe my theory is much more plausible. What if ancient people were smarter than we are today? Idiocracy anybody?

Oboedi Auctoritas

Hi there!  My name is Sam and I’m visiting from The Center of the Mind. Fakepalindrome asked me to be a guest writer on her blog today, as part of a week-long event featuring posts from guest writers.

Today I’ll be discussing a relatively well-known social psychology experiment that was originally conducted by Stephen Milgram in the early 60s. Generally, three people have a role in the conducting of this experiment: “learner” (victim), “experimenter,” and “teacher” (participant). The only person not aware of the experiment is the “teacher”.

The teacher and learner are called into a room to meet each other and the procedure is explained to them. The experimenter then (making sure the teacher is watching) hooks the learner up to a series of wires and restrains him to a chair. The experimenter and teacher then leave the room, and go to another room next door. The teacher is told to ask a series of academic questions, which the learner answers by pressing A, B, C or D on an electronic keypad. If the learner’s answer is incorrect, the teacher is then told to administer a certain amount of electrical voltage to the learner. Halfway through the experiment, the teacher often expresses their concern for causing harm to the individual. The experimenter responds by simply telling them to continue with the experimentation. Even though the learner is obviously in pain, apparent from the audible yells, the teacher will often (according to Milgram’s experiment results) administer a lethal level of electrical voltage to the individual next door.

This experiment has been conducted multiple times since Milgram’s original experiment in 1961, and each time it yields similar results. The shocking results of this experiment (excuse the pun) give credit to the theory that people will openly cause physical harm to another human being all because they are obeying authority. It’s truly amazing how an individual can administer a lethal level of electrical voltage to someone simply because an authoritive figure is telling them to. Experiments such as this downright scare me to think about… especially in a time of world wars and global tension.

My thanks to Fakepalindrome for inviting me to be a guest here on her blog. I’ll leave you with a video where the Milgram experiment was simulated identically to the original experimentation. It’s a clip from Channel 4′s (UK televeision) Mind Control with Derren Brown, which, on a side note, is an excellent program dealing with psychological suggestion, hypnosis and mentalism. Unfortunately I can’t embed it, so you’ll have to follow the link here. Enjoy!

“Good men must not obey the laws too well.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.com